I'm back w/more miles under my belt and more to talk about.
I needed a break! Not a break from running!! But a break from blogging, from tweeting, from reading about running, reading about fitness, and reading about nutrition. All of it had suddenly became so overwhelming to me. I felt like I wasn't living up to what everyone else was doing and what I thought I should be doing. Even though I've been logging more miles than I had ever ever done and doing video workouts, and planks, and burpees, and lunges, and stretches and eating better and cooking from home and drinking more water than I thought I could drink. I felt I wasn't doing enough. I started to compare my fitness life to other fitness lives and it was just turning into a thing that I never wanted it all to be. I needed a change and a break. I needed to feel normal again and feel like myself. I feel like this world of the internet is so much sometimes and everyone is always in such a "happy" "good" place and it seems like everything is so effortless for some. I'm not a pinterest quote or picture, I'm a real person. Not to mention, I'm older and I've been sittin' around for a lot of years. My body hurts, my feet hurt, my hips hurt, my legs are constantly swollen. My boots from last winter are tighter on my swollen man legs, my skinny jeans are tighter on my swollen man calves. I have to wear my running shoes to work some times because I can't walk in anything else.
HOWEVER, all that being said, I emotionally feel more confident, more powerful, and stronger than I have since I was a girl playin' ball. I'm in more control of so many things in my life. I feel more positive on the outlook of my life. Fitness, running, and weight loss has completely changed my life. Like a lot of things in my life it's a love/hate relationship, but I know now that it's one thing I can not and will not give up.
Here's what my training schedule looked like on a weekly basis for about 8 weeks until I decided to slow it down. My alarm goes off 3 week days @ 4a. I am up getting ready for my run @ 430, eating my banana w/almond butter and almond milk. I'm out my door by 5a for no less than 4 miles a day. It takes me almost an hour to run 5 so I have to be done running by 6a to be able to stretch properly, walk back to my apartment, and get ready for work. (Later in my schedule it calls for sometimes 6-8 miles on a Wed so on those days I'm out by 430a..yep alarm @ 330a). Since I don't eat breakfast out anymore I make my toast and/or eggs in the morning before I leave. I leave my apartment @ 720 to catch a 745 boat and I'm @ work by 9a and work until 6p. Then, I was coming home to do videos, burpees, and planks every single night. Since I ran on both Saturday (long runs) and Sundays and also sometimes was doing yoga, there was limited time for grocery shopping and a social life, and not to mention cleaning my apartment and doing laundry and everything in between.
You know, I say all that to say, man...HUGE PROPS, HIGH FIVES, KISSES, and everything to all you women out there who are doing all this with kids/families and not just one kid, but multiple. I seriously don't know how you do it. I'm not complaining about my schedule, this is what I want to do right now in my life, but MAN...it has been a real roller coaster ride.
I've been thinking about this Marathon for 2 years. 1 year to qualify and 1 year to get ready. November 4th will be one of the biggest days of my life. It'll be a day I've worked hard for, I've trained for, I've suffered injuries for, and am sooooo looking forward to. I will be ready and nothing's going to stop me @ this point if I have to crawl to the finish line. Plus, my whole family's coming and I cannot bow out now. It's a done deal. A huge deal!! I have something to prove to myself and I'll be damned if I'm not going to do that.
I've started thinking about next year's plans and what I wanna do to follow up one of the biggest days ever. I will rest for a few weeks and let my hips heal properly before I get back out there, but I will not stop running. Next year I wanna do mud runs (hello Tough Mudder), and NYRR half marathon series. That's a half marathon in every borough. I think I want to qualify for another marathon in 2014. I don't know about that one yet, but I'm thinking about it. Check back in w/me on November 5th and see how I feel. But, I also want to spend more time @ the gym and toning my body to get strong. Some kickboxing would be nice. I love kickboxing.
Okay Okay..So, now for the DL on my running the last few weeks. The past 3 Saturdays have been my longest most important runs yet. When my 2 marathon buddies were running 16 & 18 miles previously, I was recovering from my hip soreness and when they ran 20 I was getting back out and running only 13. I was so jealous they were able to do 20 and I was just doing a measly 13. But, I knew it was coming for me and damn.....it sure did. I ran my 16 miles with all of my weekly runs during the week so when it came to after 16 miles I was feeling pretty exhausted and I also did my Sunday run. When I woke up on Monday I was feeling exhausted and burned out from all the training. So, I decided to take my weekly runs as they come and not be so anal about all of it. I've started 1-2 times during the week in the morning and I've been going to the gym @ night to strengthen my legs and hips and work on my core. I HATE working my core. I'm so weak there and so self conscious about it. However, I am starting to see changes in the midsection. It's not happening overnight, but it is happening. :) yay!!
The next Saturday I ran my 18 miles. I couldn't believe it. I didn't sleep that well that night, as my hips and legs were really hurting, but I got up the next day and I felt a lot better. Maribel and I attempted Sunday Funday. We went to a beer garden, had a good time, and continued to drink. We both needed breaks and it felt sooo good.
Now forthe gold, yesterday I ran the longest run I've ever ran. It was four hours of running and jogging. This, my friends, is where I tested my strength and my mental capability to keep going. Once I hit mile 18 I was so happy and felt so good because I had now run more than ever. But, @ mile 17 I had to go deep in my head and focus. I had to block out everything around me. I was pumping myself up and telling myself how strong I am, how strong my legs and feet are, how I've worked so hard and I told myself a million times I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. This pretty much went on for the next 3 miles. Sometimes I would slip into am I capable of this? Am I really going to be able to do this? Did I try this too soon? Did I work hard enough before I made the decision to run this marathon? I was not out of breath and I was not feeling tired. Everything I was feeling about stopping was all in my head. This was such a mind game.
I needed a change in scenery for this run so I ran over the Brooklyn Bridge 2 times (once during a protest), I ran through Brooklyn over to the Williamsburg Bridge and decided I was not ready to go back into Manhattan and ran BACK over the Williamsburg, BACK through Brooklyn, and BACK over the Brooklyn Bridge. Ran BACK over to the W. Side Highway and still had 9 MORE MILES TO GO. AAAAGGGHHHHH!!!! I fueled back up on GU, filled up my water bottles again and munched on a bar the whole way. Keep in mind, I was hungry back @ mile 7!!! Oh MY!!! Then.....I was finally done and smelled burgers!!! For those of you who don't know...I LOVE BURGERS!!!! So, of course I got myself one. Wouldn't you!! Hey, don't judge! It was Grass Fed Angus with a special sauce. It was freakin' amazing. I've recently started loving Grass Fed burgers. yumyumyum. OH yeah, and I had another burger (lamb) last night out w/Maribel and my first pumpkin beer ever. Have to say...NoT a fan of the pumpkin beer.
So, this is everything you've been missing out on for the last 3 weeks. Aren't you lucky. I know you probably think I'm crazy and a little miserable for all of this. Who can blame you after the first couple of paragraphs. I started out this post giving you honesty. I wanted to make sure I don't put out the feeling that everything is hunky dorey and easy because it's not. I've worked hard to get here. I've changed a lot over the last 2 years. Heck, I've changed since I started to train. I'm more motivated and disciplined, but I know what it takes to get where I wanna go and I'm willing to take the bumps in the road along the way. I know when November 4th comes around I will be ready. I have 35 days from today til it's here. I have 1 more 18, and 20 miles before the big day and I can't wait because I think they're going to feel better the 2nd time around. Please please don't take what I've said the wrong way. I'm doing what I love and I'm doing what makes me feel good. I feel so accomplished and so happy for the changes in my life I've made. My other goal this year is to jump out of a plane. I would like to still try to do it after the marathon, but I am DEF doing next year if it doesn't happen this year. I am all about goals and striving to make the next year better than the last.
On that note, I'm going to bed. It's past my bedtime. I've been watching NJ Housewives while writing and now WWHL is on. I hope you get my honesty here. I wanted put in some pics, but it's too late now. I'm tired. I feel like I have more to say, but I think I've rambled enough for tonight
So, to all of you out there.....thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy because I truly enjoy writing this blog and keeping you up to date if you're so inclined to read it. Much appreciated!!
Deuces...
kc
xoxoxoxoxo
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